“Let today be the day you give up who you've been for who you can become.”
- Hal Elrond
Loss is one of the things I learned in my thirties but as the saying goes 'old does bring new', and some of these losses have made room for new things to take up residence.
I lost my mother to cancer. I lost friends who passed away and friendships that died natural deaths. Being adept at leaving jobs for better ones, I had never lost one until I was made redundant from the one I loved. I lost a regular income and the ability to pay the rent for the apartment I had called home for six years. I lost the level of health I was accustomed to before my physical and mental burnout episode and I lost sight of where I wanted to go and how to get there. That's a lot of loss.
In my quest to help others find their creative voices, I didn't realise that I had also lost my own - thus losing a big part of me.
As we established earlier, 'old does bring new' and some of these losses I sustained, unknowingly made space in my life to attract more of what I wanted, while the others forced me to create new contents to fill the voids the losses left wide open.
Grief is the natural and normal response to loss and I have grieved. I have grieved for the loss of not only the things I lost but the me that went with them. But as I exit this state of grief, I now understand that I had to lose those things in order to make room for this iteration of me to emerge.
I had to go through the losses and accompanying emotions if I was to come out at the other end with a change in behaviour, in the familiar and in what I had made myself become used to.
The me I found is committed to finding and keeping my spiritual, emotional, physical and mental health in check. The me I found now understands that I need not silence my own creative voice while still being able to help and create platforms for others to find theirs. The me I found has ignited a sense of bravery, confidence and creativity that I have not known before. This ME, is older, wiser and stronger.
Though for me, loss played a leading role in making room for new things to blossom in my life, it is not and should not be your only catalyst. You can and should actively let some things go in order for new tings to bloom.
Here are 5 ways to make room for more of YOU to show up in your life:
Take control of your time. If you're giving too much time to one thing, something else will inevitably suffer. Spend more time on the things that matter. Create more time in your day by going to bed earlier and getting up earlier. Take on less tasks and free up your time to water and nurture new ideas.
Understand your triggers and avoid them. Your boundaries are not negotiable. Know what drains your energy. Negativity takes up space.
Learn what brings you the most joy and peace and go after it with a determination that will scare even you. Radiate joy, remembering that new things need sunlight to grow.
Simplify your life. Declutter your calendar, your home, your closet, your office and your mind. Make room for good to happen.
Find yourself a daily practice that nourishes your spiritual, emotional, physical and mental health - which can include but is not limited to prayer, meditation, a healthy diet, therapy and exercise. A healthy you is better equipped to welcome and nourish all the things coming your way.
THINGS I LEARNED IN MY THIRTIES - Motivational Musings for Creative Millennials
The Kindle version of 'THINGS I LEARNED IN MY THIRTIES ' is now available for pre-order on Amazon - https://tinyurl.com/preorder-thingsilearned
Paperback copies will also be available via Amazon on July 4, 2022.
I'll soon be taking orders via my website for those in Trinidad & Tobago requesting paperback copies, which will come signed and be delivered via TT POST.
THINGS I LEARNED IN MY THIRTIES will then be available in select TT book stores and other nontraditional retail outlets from August 2022.
Part of the proceeds from the book will be reinvested into The I AM Experiment - allowing me to continue providing free and subsidised personal brand visioning training to early - mid career creative entrepreneurs.
“Born and bred in Arima, Trinidad and Tobago, I'm fearless, fun-loving and determined and I've chosen the moniker of arts for social change advocate. I am passionate about the arts and social change, with a belief in my power to coach and that my purpose on Earth is to connect people.
For Common Good and East Yard
Artist/Personal Branding Coach:
The I AM Experiment
KF by Kevon Foderingham
Marketing and Communications Consultant